Dressing the Postpartum Body
At 3 months--and beyond.
Happy (almost) fall! With the start of September I found myself three months postpartum and adjusting to a new body, one both familiar yet surprising. While pregnant, and since giving birth, I’ve been fascinated and anxious about the way my body would respond postpartum. Talking about it feels difficult and complicated as I navigate lifelong feelings of inadequacy, dysmorphic views of the way I look, and long-ingrained 90s and early 2000s diet culture.
I recently read an essay on Substack in which the author, a woman in her 20s, explained that the reason her mother’s generation was unhappy with the way they looked postpartum was because they gave birth in their 30s (?!).1 Having given birth smack dab in the middle of my 30s, my reaction to this “take” was far from what I’m sure the author intended. A reductive and limited view of the postpartum body seems cause for laughing off someone’s fat shaming, yet it also triggers my own insecurities and secret fears about giving birth so “late” in life.
Every body is different. Every birth experience and each postpartum season belong to their own time. Age may dictate an aspect of that experience in some cases, but not for all. And it certainly is never the sole factor.
What does seem to ring true from one postpartum season to the next is the matrescencent aspect of feeling disconnected with one’s body in some way, for some period of time. In my case the disconnection feels the most acute when I try to get dressed. I’ve been having flashbacks to the way I felt twenty years ago, trying to fit into low cut jeans that my hips spilled out of and awkwardly trying on stiff, padded bras when I would have rather stuck with wearing a sports bra every day (I was moving away from dressing like a “tomboy” in order to fit in at a new school).
Based off of various reddit threads (where I’ve spent far too much time during my pregnancy and pp) this awkward postpartum season can last for wildly various time frames, individual to each woman. Some women swear they’re getting back into their postpartum jeans in a matter of months, while others feel disconnected from themselves for the first two years. Hundreds of other responses, of course, encapsulate a spectrum in between. I would go to these posts hoping to find some sort of consistent timeline by which to judge my progress but there really wasn’t one to be found.
All I know for myself is that my body seems to be changing on a monthly basis, and where I’ll end up remains to be seen. I bought myself new jeans at 10 weeks pp because I was so sick of not wearing pants, but couldn’t wear them until closer to week 14 because the fabric irritated my c-section scar. In certain dresses I think I look like “me” again; in a pair of snug old shorts, not so much. This is my normal and I’m slowly learning to navigate it. To accept and love dress the body that I have today—not that I used to have, or that I hope to have—is my goal.
As I reevaluated many things in my life upon the birth of my daughter, I was surprised to realize that despite having a large closet to dig into, I’ve been almost exclusively wearing new (to me) things I purchased while pregnant specifically for this period of time. It’s given me pause for a variety of reasons. I’m beginning to question: did this new version of myself need new things to manifest and cover itself? What would I be wearing if I hadn’t purchased new or thrifted items while I was pregnant?2
Certain pieces I purchased have become necessary staples and I believe worth the money. But there are certainly others that were bought under impulse and are quite aspirational. My sell/donate pile may be about to grow again soon.
On the other side, I find that the things I did purchase that work really work—they fit into my wardrobe as if I owned them all along and they play nicely with what I already have.
Here is a small, visual inventory of what I’ve been wearing the most postpartum; it’s a nice mixture of old and new clothes. I’ve found reading and taking in postpartum content in relation to getting dressed helpful, but have struggled to find women who are similar in size or proportion to myself.3 By sharing my body in flux, I hope this helps someone who’s 5’ 2” with an average, curvy build. For those who’d rather know the TLDR: the most repeated aspects of what I’ve worn pp are comfortable, flat sandals and shoes, button up shirts and dresses in natural fabrics, and flexible pants and shorts.
Probably one of my best purchases in preparation for postpartum is this swim coverup from Madewell. It’s made of lightweight linen and was the perfect postpartum summer dress. It fit right out of the hospital, barely touches my body, and the asymmetrical placket makes it easy to breastfeed in. I wear this 1-3x a week and will be sad to put it away for the cooler months.
This was the first dress I wore when I finally “got dressed” postpartum, about a week after coming home from the hospital (this photo is not from that day—this was taken many weeks later). When I finally started venturing out of the house around week 4, this dress worked well due to the silhouette and the linen fabric, as my belly band and postpartum underwear could easily be worn underneath. I actually thrifted two of these dresses and wore then almost exclusively when I left the house during the second month because they were so easy. Echoing again that button-ups are crucial for breastfeeding! The Birkenstocks are classic and have been working hard the whole summer for me. A good, flat shoe has been very important as I reestablish the health of my pelvic floor.
Jones New York is one of my favorite vintage labels to thrift and I know I’m not alone in that. I bought this jacket a size up from what I normally would buy (still didn’t fit over the bump at the time I bought it!) and I love how the shoulder pads help balance out my hips. I had my eye on these stirrup leggings for months and finally got them on sale. I’ve been pairing them with these tabis weekly and often just throw a button-up shirt on top for an easy look to run errands in or to play with the baby.
I sized up in these bike shorts during my pregnancy and have continued to enjoy wearing them postpartum, almost exclusively with a button-up shirt of some kind. This outfit recipe is one I’ve been living in this summer when going out with the baby and bumming around the house. Wearing the shorts with a RL button-up felt fancy and Princess Diana-esque.
And lastly, I have not shopped at JCrew in…. YEARS. But finding myself in a store recently I was seduced by this white denim skirt on the sale rack. I’ve already worn this outfit several times despite the weather not actually being cool enough for it. This look features many things I really like—white on white, a good chore coat, all items made of cotton, and shoes that are easy to walk in but fun to wear.
After browsing back through photos of my postpartum season so far, I’m happy with my overall progress—wearing things that are comfortable, beautiful, and that make me feel like myself. While there’s no timeline attached to this, clothes that fit and serve us functionally, while tapping into our personal sense of style, offer one way to navigate the acceptance of a body in flux.
This take take seems weird, for lack of a better word. If you look at stats for US births, historically women gave birth to their first child, on average, much younger than they do now in the year 2024.
This reminds me of something else I read recently about consumerism as a way to fix our issues with ourselves/our parenting, so time to ponder anew the motives behind my shopping habits. An essay for another day.
While I truly love good outfit posts, I hate the often shameless encouragement towards shopping cycles or shopping to define oneself or shopping just because. SO, I’m not linking to anything that I purchased new online. I did link to Slow Union as they’re a small, woman-owned business that actually made me feel excited and supported while trying on jeans!